The dating and seduction industry is a billion dollar industry. There are thousands of books, videos, and seminars produced every year that target struggling lonely men who want to learn how to attract women. Almost all of these products offer solutions in the form of techniques, strategies, or tactics. While these products sound like the ideal solution to helping men become better with women, most of these products make exaggerated claims that rarely lead to tangible results. Still, men continue to purchase tons of these products every year. Each man hoping that he will find the magic pill that will help him improve his dating life in the near future.
I can relate to these men. I’ve been there. I’ve spent just a little under $10,000 on ebooks, DVDs, coaching, and seminars. For over ten years, I’ve read, bought, learned, tried, and tested almost every tactic out there. And I’ve found the holy grail of seduction. Do you want to know what it is? Of course you do!!!
Now, I could over-complicate things and hype up the answer in order to sell you a $500 product that would “solve all of your dating problems magically” but I won’t. I’ll share what I’ve learned with you free of charge.
There are only three main things you need to train yourself to do in order to have a staggering amount of women in your life. I say train because you can’t just learn how to do these things by reading this article. You actually have to go out there and practice. I know, it’s painful, but it’s the only way.
Approach Any Woman At Anytime Anywhere
One of the big secrets to getting good at the seduction game is your ability to approach. The more you approach, the more women you meet, and the more options you have. This means that if you see a woman that strikes your fancy, you must have the ability to go up and talk to her no matter what. It should not matter if it is daytime or nighttime. It should not matter if she is alone or in a group. It should not matter if she is in a mall, church, restaurant, or library. Your inability to overcome your limiting beliefs about when it’s a proper time to approach will greatly hinder you in your quest to become good at attracting women.
However, if you are able to train yourself to make the approach regardless of external conditions, you will drastically increase the number of women in your life.
Advice
Start Slow – Regardless of where you are, start by giving a woman you find attractive good eye contact (do not look away before she does). Then when you see another woman you find attractive, go over and just say, “Hello.” Then start a conversation with the next woman that you fancy.
Avoid Thinking – Usually when guys want to approach a woman, they want to go in prepared with something to say. They soon start judging what they would say in a negative light. It isn’t long before they are second guessing everything. Avoid this! Instead just make the approach. Your brain will come up with something when you arrive in front of her; if it doesn’t you can always fall back on “Hello.”
Set Low Standards For Success – When men approach women, they are already thinking about the interaction they are going to have. Men want to walk away from the interaction as winners. They want a phone number, a date, or even a pleasant goodbye. This leads them to put too much pressure on themselves. They start making mistakes by trying too hard, being nervous, showing insecurity, or losing their cool. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to succeed, just make the approach.
This last tip brings us to the second critical component to getting more women than a rock star.
Be Outcome Independent Regardless Of Women’s Reactions
Cultivating the ability to not care whether an interaction leads to a certain result is not easy. We all want our interactions with women to go well. We all want to be adored by the women we talk to.
No guy wants the woman he approaches to snub him, but it happens. And often it happens because women can smell when you have an agenda. They can tell when you are searching for a certain reaction or result. It is the “need to make something happen” that often repels the women around you.
If you want something to happen with a certain woman you like, you will start over-analyzing everything she says and does. You may start trying too hard and pushing too much for certain things to happen. This may lead you to become needy, forceful, or domineering. Even if you think you are good at hiding what you feel, you will show it subtly through your eyes, mannerisms, and body language.
Outcome dependence can apply to both positive as well as negative reactions. For example, when a girl shows you signs that she likes you and is enjoying your company, you start enjoying her positive reactions. This will make you feel good inside and you will start liking her. You may even start thinking about how you two will get intimate and maybe how she will become your future girlfriend.
Meanwhile, if another guy comes and she starts sending him the IOIs – your emotional state will change. Now you will start feeling the negative reactions. You’ll start wanting to get her back. Even if you try to talk to other girls, she’ll be on your mind. You won’t be able to shake it because you’ve become outcome dependent.
Advice
Stop Becoming Attached – In your interactions with women, train yourself to not care what happens. If you see yourself becoming attached to a certain result, take a deep breath and let it go.
Give Zero Importance To Reactions – Most guys get caught up in good or bad reactions. They become excited when they get a positive response, but become depressed when they get a negative response. You must learn to not become attached to either. You can not control other people’s reactions, but you can control your emotional state.
Persist In The Face Of Rejection
The best guys at getting girls persist in the face of rejection. Most men can only take one or two rejections the whole night. Then they are out of the game, sitting at the bar nursing their egos with alcohol.
Think that’s rough? I have friends that sometimes get snubbed 10-15 times in a row!
But unlike the pansies that give up after a couple of rough snubs, these guys continue to make approaches. And guess what? They never complain about it. They just do it! Like the champions that they are! And at the end of the night, when other chumps are sitting around pouting, these guys are walking out with girls.
What most seduction coaches won’t tell you is that we are all different. Some of us are born with natural advantages; others with disadvantages. We all have different physical appearances, personalities, and skills. Some of us have to put in very little effort, while others have to put in a lot.
Some guys only have to approach 2-3 women before they find one that likes them. Other guys may have to approach 10-15. Still others may have to approach 20-30. The guy who gets the girls is the guy who persists.
You can drastically decrease the number of rejections you get by improving your physical appearance, enriching your personality, and learning game – but in the end, you will still have to persist.
Advice
Keep Going – If you go out and want to meet a woman, keep going no matter how bad it gets. My persistent friends sometimes have to talk to 8-12 women before finding 1 that is really into them. The secret is that they keep going until they find her.
Cool Off – If your night is going especially bad and you are facing a barrage of rejections – then take a break. Get a glass of water. Go sit down somewhere away from other people. Just blank out for 10 minutes. Do not think about women or approaching. After chilling out, come back and start again. If it is still bad, consider changing locations and going somewhere else.
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Even though there are other subtle nuances to meeting and attracting women, you can attain more than your fair share of beautiful women by working on the three skills above. They are the fundamentals to learning how to become good with women. Let other men chase fancy tactics, routines, and techniques. While they’re learning how to look flashy, you’ll be mastering what really works!
